How to Annoy Others and Look Terribly Desperate Online

This post illustrates what not to do when building your online presence.

In it, I poke fun at the crazy things we do to get noticed online.

I know you feel the pressure of building your platform, but these tactics will keep you from getting published.

They’re not your friends.

You need to earn your platform every day.

Here’s how you destroy it with your own hands:

Add me to your email newsletter list without my permission.

Please inundate my inbox with unsolicited, time-wasting email.

As my Communicator Academy co-host Michele Cushatt says, “When we add people to our lists without permission, it reeks of desperation.” Aside from being supremely annoying, and making you look like an amateur, this is against the law!

Post your venting sessions.

Go ahead and rant. Just know that venting for the sake of letting off steam will come back to haunt you.

If you’re venting about the publishing industry, keep in mind that your words are offensive to everyone working in this industry. People will remember you, and not in a good way.

Use your blog as therapy.

Please, work out your issues online. Approach the world with a woe-is-me attitude and drag your readers through every emotion you experience.

When you seek love and affirmation on your blog, you look desperate. Think about it like this, “Will I be proud to have this on my blog five years from now?” If the answer is no, change or delete the post.

Also, ask yourself, “Does this dishonor my family members or others I care about?” Michele says, “Just because you can say it doesn’t mean you should.”  There is value in processing your emotions privately.

Use people.

Make success your idol and walk on people to get there.

Developing connections is good, but if you use people to achieve your goals, you won’t have anyone to celebrate your success when you get there.

We need to care more about people than success. Serve others. The people who will help you the most are the people you’ve served the best.

Invite me to coffee.

Ask me to let you pick my brain for the price of a latte. Please get upset and shame me when I say no.

People ask all the time, “Can we meet for coffee? I’d love your help with my book.” They want to know what I know. I understand you need help, but if I say yes to every coffee date request I won’t be able to do my ministry.

If you want to learn from me, listen to the Communicator Academy podcast and subscribe to the blog.  Attend the conferences where I train writers and speakers. Or, if you really want the full Kathi Lipp immersion experience, apply to be an intern.

Please use my Facebook page and other social media accounts to promote yourself.

If I ask about your favorite memoir, do not post your book in my comments. It looks desperate.

Instead, take the opportunity to brag on someone else’s amazing book. Be generous with praise and promotion of other’s work.

Use back-door brags to pat yourself on the back.

Start with, “I’m so humbled by…” followed by an accolade that sounds anything but humble.

What you’re really saying is “Look how awesome I am!”

We need to check in with God about when and what to share. Obviously, you believe in your message and you want to help get it out there. But be clear on when your words are self-serving (pride) or serving others (humility.)

Name drop.

Puff yourself up by letting others know that you know important people. They’ll be so impressed!

I get it. I understand you’re excited about the connections you’ve made.

When I first signed with my agent, I dropped the phrase “my agent” into every conversation – for at least six months! We all have friends we want to talk about, but when we drop our friends’ names to make us look more important, we dishonor those friendships. Let’s refrain from name-dropping.

I hope these snarky tips are received in the way I intended – in good fun.

You can build an audience, and get your message “out there,” without resorting to these tactics.

To enjoy laughter and learning, join Kathi Lipp and Michele Cushatt as they discuss all 19 tips in “The Desperate Platform Builders Guide to Getting Noticed.”

For more great ideas and tips, please visit the Communicator Academy  website.

You will also receive “51 Blog Ideas to Get You Started” for free when you sign up for our newsletter.

About Kathi Lipp 1 Article
Kathi Lipp has authored 17 books including Overwhelmed and Clutter Free. She co-hosts the Communicator Academy podcast, and the Leverage and West Coast Christian Writers Conferences. She speaks at retreats and women’s events across the US. Kathi loves dating her husband Roger, and spending time with their four adult children.


  1. Thanks Kathi. These are humorous and great reminders. And yes, I do listen to Communicator Academy podcasts and read your blog. No, not name calling…just do. ; ) God bless.

  2. I love this!! It is totally worth printing out and posting on my home office wall. Thanks for this — snarkiness and all!! 🙂

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